Last week I wrote about news because, well I had no work to do.  This week, I finally got work to do and now I am done….again.  So I figured I will delve in to a few more news stories I read today.  There are some real jackasses on this planet and sometimes I kinda feel like this:

Without further ado…your news:

  • MSN released a cheery list of  nine jobs we will lose to robots one day. Among them Lawyers (have fun paying that leftover school loan when Johnny-5 is taking your Partner promotion or arguing why someone shouldn’t be allowed to have a child), Babysitter (Jetson’s here we come), Reporters (No more opinions from the brain, just straight news)
  • Herbert Chavez, 35, of the Philipines had surgeries to make himself look like Superman, with surgeries dating back to 1995.  Couldn’t you have just tried to fly off a 20 story building and saved us all the time in our lives it took to read that article?
  • Florida Law makers are looking to repeal “Dwarf Tossing” Laws…I will not be visiting Florida any time soon I guess.  The main reasoning…its better that they can be tossed then go Jobless….

  • In New Castle, Pa, some gentleman have been held on account of theft…OF A BRIDGE!  This fucker was 50 feet long  and done over a period of time.  Apparently there is too many other crimes in New Castle for Barney Fife to notice a missing 50 foot bridge.
  • In East Yorkshire, England, the classroom children are no longer allowed to raise their hand in class to ask questions.  Why you say? It will lead to a calmer classroom (please refer to picture above).  What must they do instead?  Give the ole Fonz ‘thumbs up’ as demonstrated below by the master himself:

  • And not to be outdone, at a Chili contest in Edinburgh, Scotland 2 contestants were hospitalized after eating the “nuclear chili” option.  10 of the 20 contests dropped out after “witnessing the first 10 diners vomiting, collapsing, sweating and panting. “

Enjoy your weekend.